Don't Be A Muppet

The Do's and Don'ts of Following United

• Don't call them 'Man U' in Manchester
• Do call them 'United' or 'Reds''
• Don't sing 'Who Are Ya?' or 'Easy! Easy!'
• Do sing 'Who The F'ckn Hell Are You?' and 'This Is So F'ckn Easy!'
• Don't ever leave before the final whistle!
• Do remember the words "...and Solskjaer has won it!"
• Don't wear a Jesters Hat if you're old enough to know better
• Do wear your lucky scarf or retro United kit
• Don't sing 'We've won it 11 times'
• Do sing 'He's won it 11 times'
• Don't bring a St George's Cross or England shirt to the game
• Don't wear an Ireland shirt to the game
• Do wear United colours (or Argentina)
• Don't get on the backs of United players. Never ever boo the team!
• Do get behind the team, even the players you don't like
• Don't boo ex-United players (except Paul Ince & Robbie Savage)
• Don't boo Damian Duff, a United fan who held out before signing for Chelsea until Fergie confirmed we couldn't match his £17 million fee. He later turned down Liverpool to sign for Newcastle because 'his heart told him so'. Same rules apply to Morten Gamst Pederson, also a United fan and a paid up member of the Scandinavian supporters club before signing for Blackburn.
• Don't buy a fanzine thinking it's the offical match day programme
• Do buy the fanzines - United We Stand, Red Issue and Red News